Is it just luck?

If you’ve ever dived into books on motivation and success, you’ve probably asked yourself: “Why do some people make it, while others don’t?”

If it’s really just about getting inspired and taking action, why do only a few rise to the top while so many struggle?

You see it everywhere:

• Some people sculpt their dream body, while others fight with weight loss their whole lives;
• Some build wealth, while others can’t seem to get ahead;
• Some enjoy happy, lasting relationships, while others bounce from breakup to breakup;
• Some become famous writers, painters, or actors, while others pour in effort but never make it;
• Two people open coffee shops. One thrives. The other closes down.

Why are there so many try-hards, but only a selected few succeeds?

What is it that separates the winners from the ones who fail miserably?

Why Are Some People Unsuccessful?

Sometimes it’s easier to understand why only a few succeed when you first look at what 100 % guarantees failure.

If you…

• are lazy – never push yourself to act when you don’t feel like it;
• are bored with what you do – dream of a career but drag yourself through a job you hate;
• lack discipline – start a diet for 3 days, then reward yourself with a box of sweets;
• are negative – always complain about how circumstances “don’t allow” you to succeed;
• lack knowledge – remember, in my article How to be powerful I said that information is one of the 5 key factors to success;
• are inconsistent – like saying you want to learn guitar but picking it up once a month…

…you will definitely FAIL.

If you recognise yourself in any of these, but you truly want something badly, that’s your starting point: fix these patterns immediately.

There’s an old proverb:

“A hard-worker can fail but a lazy person can never succeed.”

And that’s the truth. You can’t be both lazy and successful.

The Reason Some People Fail at Everything

Some people seem to fail at everything they try. Harsh, but true. But there’s actually a good reason for it – one you need to understand if you don’t want to end up the same way.

If you want success, you have to be careful not to invite failure into your life.

Because failure attracts more failure.

What am I talking about here?

Let’s say you’re bad at cooking.

Cooking, like any other skill, can be learned. But if you keep saying, “I’m just bad at cooking” and leave it at that, you’re planting a negative self-belief.

You will believe that you objectively lack some special talent that other people have!

Later, maybe you try dance lessons. You find it hard, quit too soon, and then tell yourself, “Well, I’m not good at dancing either.”

Do this enough times, and before you know it, you’ve built a pattern:

quitting too soon → believing you’re incapable → convincing yourself you’ll fail the next time too

This is how people end up thinking they’re not smart enough, not strong enough, not talented enough. When in reality, they just gave up too early!

Psychologists call this learned helplessness. Martin Seligman proved it in his famous experiments with dogs. You can read more on that this article: How to never give up when things get hard.

Mindset Is Everything

If you believe you’re going to succeed, chances are, you will. A winner’s mindset is about knowing you’ll get there. Winners don’t sit around making excuses – they adjust, they pivot, they find another way when the first one doesn’t work.

They make sure failure is not an option.

In short: they stay flexible and adaptable.

Success isn’t about luck. Sure, a bit of luck might play a role here and there, but behind every “lucky” break is usually years of hard work, trial, and error.

That’s why adaptability is key.

You have to be flexible

Einstein once said: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” If you want to succeed, persistence is important, but persistence without adaptability is just wasted energy.

The real skill is knowing when to push harder and when to switch gears.

The Formula That Will Make You Successful

There is only one proven plan to follow if you want to be a part of the people who succeed, and not of those who don’t.

It goes like this:

1. Find out what you truly want.
2. Visualise it to the finest detail.
3. Feel it like it is already yours.
4. Start working on it.
5. Focus on the process, not just the end goal.
6. Persevere (see: How to not give up when things get hard).
7. Be dedicated.
8. Work smart, not hard.
9. Stay flexible and adaptable when things don’t go out your way.
10. Never give up on your dream.

Finding out what your heart and soul want from this world is the first step towards creating your dream life.

Without that, you’re just wandering.

Think of yourself as a hero on a mission.

You are the main character in your movie. And like any good story, you’re going to face enemies along the way: demotivation, laziness, frustration, bad habits, maybe even anxiety from sticking to a routine.

Then there are the external obstacles – messy breakups, toxic workplaces, unexpected setbacks.

The truth is, everybody faces challenges like these. The difference is that successful people know how to handle them.

That’s where The think about comes in. It gives you insight and tools to deal with the everyday problems that hold most people back.

Want to dive deeper? Start here:

See how to quit smoking forever,

How to jump back after a bad breakup ,

How to reclaim your power despite any circumstances

and many more.

TheThinkAbout is a website based on psychology in practice and experience.

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