“My mind wanders, and I get lost in thoughts of you.”

Unknown

Did you just meet someone you can’t stop thinking about?

Do you wonder how they feel about you?

My friend Jenny went to a party one weekend.

She met a guy she instantly clicked with and really liked. The problem? His name was Josh, and he was only in the country for a few days. He left before anything could actually happen between them.

Still, Jenny couldn’t stop asking herself: Did he like me? Or was it all in my head?

Why Would You Want to Know If a Guy Likes You?

Sometimes you can really, REALLY start liking someone but hesitate to make a move. Most women expect guys to take the first step.

The thing is, many guys are just as unsure if you like them back! And that uncertainty can make them take forever to ask you out.

The problem with hiding your feelings is that it only makes you fall harder. Liking someone without doing anything about it often turns into a long-term crush, which is pointless, frustrating, and ultimately a waste of time.

Girls react more strongly to rejection.

Because women aren’t biologically wired to pursue men, we don’t experience rejection as often as guys do, which makes it so much harder to deal with when it happens. As a girl, you won’t want to make the first move unless you feel there’s a good chance he likes you back.

There’s nothing worse than showing a guy you like him only to find out he sees you as “just a friend”!

The tricky part is that guys can act very similarly when they’re being friendly versus when they have romantic feelings. On top of that, wishful thinking can easily make us see signals that aren’t really there.

However, if you learn to spot the subtle differences in his actions, body language, and overall demeanour, you’ll be able to figure out whether he’s into you.

Once you learn to notice the undeniable signs that a guy is romantically interested in you, you can confidently show him that you like him back, or suggest hanging out together.

And this is what today’s article is all about.

Some CONTROVERSIAL “signs” a guy likes you:

1. He seems nervous – A man can be nervous for many reasons. Maybe he’s shy, anxious, or simply awkward in social situations. Some guys hide their nerves so well you wouldn’t notice, while others might overcompensate by acting aloof or even arrogant. Nervousness alone doesn’t mean he likes you.
2. He immediately adds you on socials – Don’t expect every guy who likes you to rush to add you online. If you don’t have any other means of contact, maybe. But if he has your number or knows mutual friends, he might prefer to take things slow and downplay his interest. Adding you quickly can be a sign, but not doing it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you.
3. He likes all your pictures/stories – Definitely not a clear sign. A guy might like you a lot and not touch a single one of your posts. Or he might “like” everything you share, as well as content from 27847 women. Social media engagement doesn’t tell much about how he feels.
4. He asks you a lot of questions – He might be just the curious type who is generally interested in people. And some guys who like you won’t ask questions directly, either because they’re shy or don’t want to make their interest too obvious. They may try to figure you out in sneakier ways – analysing what you say or checking your online presence. It doesn’t mean anything.
5. He shows jealousy – If he shows signs of jealousy when you mention/talk with other men, then he probably likes you. But not all guys show jealousy and some are secure enough not to act jealous even when they really like a woman. He could like you even if he doesn’t show it.
6. He texts back fast – He could be the type of guy who is glued to his phone. Or if he takes too long to respond, he could be taking his time to craft a thoughtful answer. He might not want to seem too eager. It doesn’t mean anything.

Unlike the “maybe” signals above, the signs below are much more reliable because they’re involuntary.

When someone likes you, these behaviors are almost impossible to control. Even if he tries to hide his feelings, his actions will give him away.

Watch out for those behaviours and if you see them all at once, you can be rest assured someone likes you, (even if you just met).

The universal undeniable signs a guy is interested

• He’s fully engaged in your conversation

Friendly – he is interested in what you’re saying, but as soon as something/someone interrupts, he gets distracted and might even forget what you were talking about. He won’t fight to keep the conversation going.

Interested – He is so focused on the conversation to a point that it feels like NOTHING else exists. He listens intently, almost soaking in every word. My friend Jenny and the above mentioned guy, talked about something completely random, and he was so locked in, that he later admitted he hadn’t even noticed it had started raining cats and dogs!

• He will smile a lot MORE when he talks to you

Friendly – Men smile less often than women. Why?

Because of biology! The facial muscles that control smiling and laughter are managed by a part of the brain called Brodmann’s Area 44, and in men, this area is smaller.

So a guy who’s just being friendly might smile from time to time, usually when you say something actually funny, but the smile will be brief.

Interested – If he can’t wipe the smile off his face when he’s talking to you, that’s a clear sign he’s interested.

When we like someone, we can’t stop smiling because just being around them floods our brain with dopamine. This type of smile is called “The Duchenne Smile”. You will notice how his face relaxes and brightens up when he talks to you. If you’re unsure, you can even look up examples of “Duchenne Smile” online to see how different it is from a polite or forced smile.

• He locks eyes with you when you speak

Friendly – He maintains eye contact, nods, and shows he’s listening, but he’ll naturally look away from time to time. He won’t get distracted, but his gaze won’t linger for long stretches either.

Interested – When a guy likes you he can’t help but gaze deep into your eyes. It’s involuntary. We do this with people we admire or are really curious to figure out. If his prolonged eye contact comes with lots of smiling, you’ve got your answer: he’s into you. He might even miss what’s happening around him because he’s so absorbed in looking at you.

• He will laugh at your jokes

Friendly – he’ll laugh if what you said was really funny. If it’s just out of politeness, you’ll hear a short, flat “haha.”

Interested – When a guy likes you, he finds funny everything that comes out of your mouth and remotely resembles a joke. He will smile a lot and laugh a lot. That’s because your presence already puts him in a great mood.

Think about it : what do we do when we like someone? We giggle and blush just thinking about them. All that goes through his head is: “She’s so cute and funny.”

• He finds something to tease you about and keeps bringing it up

Friendly – He might make a light joke about you ONCE, but that’s usually the end of it.

Interested – You know how in kindergarten boys pull the braids of the girls they like? As adults, it’s the same thing, just a bit more civilized.

If I guy likes you, he will tease you, to downplay his interest a little bit. For example, if you wore a quirky bag or said something silly, he’ll make it his “thing” to bring it up at every chance. It’s his way of keeping a little inside joke alive between you, and a subtle excuse to keep the interaction going.

• He leans in when you talk

Friendly – If a guy enjoys your company as a friend, he won’t usually lean in. Why would he? Unless you’re whispering or mumbling, he can hear you just fine from a normal distance.

Interested – Leaning in is a classic sign of attraction. Why do we do it?

For several reasons – we want to catch each and every word that comes out of their mouth. We want to be as close to them as possible without inappropriately getting into their space. And subconsciously, to create a stronger sense of connection.

So when a guy likes you, “leaning closer to hear better”, most of the time, is just an excuse.

• He pays extra attention in group settings

Friendly – At a party or group hangout, he’ll talk to you like everyone else. He may wander off, join other conversations, and not really keep track of where you are.

Interested – If he’s into you, he’s always subtly tuned in to you. Even when he’s talking to someone else, he’ll keep an ear out for what you’re saying. He is always aware where you are and who are you talking with.

Try this: say something interesting while he’s mid-conversation with another person. Chances are, he’ll start speaking more slowly, pausing, or lowering his voice, little signs he’s trying not to miss a single word of yours, even while pretending to focus elsewhere!

• He goes quiet when you walk past

Try passing him by and pay attention to his body language.

Friendly – Nothing really changes. He’ll keep chatting or doing what he was doing.

Interested – When a guy is interested, he can’t help but stiffen up when you pass by. He won’t make it obvious by turning his head or follow you with his eyes, but if he’s mid-conversation, you may notice him pausing for a split second. Almost like he’s holding his breath.

What is described as “butterflies in your stomach” is how your autonomic nervous system responds to seeing someone you like. Our brain releases adrenaline and norepinephrine, triggering a mini fight-or-flight response – faster heartbeat, shallow breathing, the works. He feels it just as much as you do.

• You catch him looking when you’re not

Friendly – Sometimes people zone out and stare at other peoples’ faces without even realizing it. It doesn’t mean anything.

Interested – A guy who’s into you, will give you hidden glances all the time.

He wants to watch you, notice your expressions, and pick up little details about you, and often won’t realize he’s doing it. If you keep catching him looking your way, even while he’s in the middle of another conversation, he is definitely interested.

• He mirrors your words, tone, or mannerisms

Friendly – People sometimes mimic or mirror the behaviours of others without being romantically interested in them. The question is – does he do it with other people?

Interested – When a guy is interested, he will subtly try to mach your tone of voice, choice of words or even body language. He will subconsciously try to find similarities between you or make them where they don’t exist.

At that party, Josh was his usual self with everyone else, but when he talked to Jenny, he matched her tone almost perfectly, like a chameleon.

• He remembers the little things you said

Friendly – Some people are just very good listeners, and if you are interesting they will recall what you tell them.

Interested – When a guy is into you, he will remember things YOU don’t even remember saying. Why? Because he’s paying extra attention, scanning for clues about your likes, dislikes, opinions, and experiences.

His brain is storing this info so he can use it later – to impress you, to connect with you, or just to have useful conversation topics later.

• He doesn’t mind being close to you

Friendly – If you get too close, he’ll naturally lean back to reclaim his personal space. Nobody likes you to invade their space, unless they like you.

Interested – If he likes you, he’ll welcome it. Leaning in on his phone, sitting next to you, standing somewhere he can see you… he’ll create moments of closeness himself, rather than pull away. Even shy guys who don’t approach directly will hover nearby or make sure they’re in your orbit.

If you notice several of these signs happening at once, chances are he likes you just as much as you like him.

So, don’t let the opportunity slip by, next time, unlike my friend Jenny, take your chance!

Do you have someone you secretly hope is crushing on you? Share your story in the comments.

And if you’re still healing from a breakup, check out my ebook How to get over anybody in 30 days.

Need more?

See how to not develop a crushes on someone and stay strong

How to be assertive while in a relationship

What makes a man stop appreciating you?

How to stop yourself from texting your EX

What to do if your ex wants you back?

I’m dealing with issues at my workplace…

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