**You may be intellectually intelligent, but are you emotionally intelligent?**

A few years ago, I had an interesting conversation with my mom.

She was reading an article in some online magazine and got really excited about doing an EQ test. After about 20 minutes, she finished and got a very high score. She turned to me and said : “Why don’t you give it a try too?”

I was so sure of myself, knowing I’m a highly empathetic person, that I almost laughed.

“Me? Why would I even bother with a test like that? I’m the most empathic person I know! People open up to me all the time – even complete strangers.

Obviously, I’m SUPER emotionally intelligent.”

”Are you now?” my mom asked, clearly unconvinced., “I’ve seen you get really angry, and it takes you ages to calm down. I’m not sure you’re as in control of your emotions as you think. Why not take the test and find out?”

So, I took the test, and to my surprise, I didn’t score as high as her.

What was wrong with that test?

It never occurred to me before that emotional intelligence was about more than just being empathic and a good listener.

If you’re someone who’s sensitive and good with people, maybe it’s worth thinking about this too:

Do you recognize your own emotions?
Can you stay calm when things get heated?
Are you able to let go of the past, or does it still weigh on you?
Do other people easily irritate you?
And what about control – do you struggle to let things go?

These questions are worth considering because emotional intelligence isn’t just about how you connect with others, it’s also about how well you understand and manage yourself.

If you are ready, lets now take this test together.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Test

How to do it

For each question, select the option that best describes your typical behavior or perspective. Use the scale below:
1 – Strongly Disagree
2 – Disagree
3 – Neutral
4 – Agree
5 – Strongly Agree

Questions

When I feel a strong emotion, I can easily identify whether it stems from external events, my personal insecurities, or deeper unmet needs.

I am aware of how my emotional state affects the way I interact with other people in different situations.

I frequently reflect on my behavior to understand patterns in my emotional responses over time.

When I feel conflicted, I can identify what emotion is driving my uncertainty.

In emotionally charged situations, I can manage my initial reactions and choose a response that aligns with my long-term goals.

I can adapt quickly and remain calm when unexpected changes disrupt my plans.

Even when I feel provoked, I am able to express myself constructively and not lash out.

I can avoid acting impulsively, even when I feel strong urges or desires that tempt me.

I enjoy setting ambitious goals for myself and consistently work toward achieving them, even when progress seems slow.

I enjoy taking on challenges that allow me to grow personally or professionally, even if they involve significant risks or effort.

I maintain a positive attitude and remain focused on solutions, even when faced with setbacks or significant obstacles.

When pursuing long-term objectives, I stay disciplined and driven without needing constant external encouragement.

I actively listen to others when they express their emotions or concerns, seeking to understand their feelings rather than offering immediate solutions.

I can accurately pick up on unspoken emotions or underlying feelings in others, even when they don’t explicitly share them.

I am sensitive to cultural, social, or personal differences when interacting with others and adjust my behavior to show respect and understanding.

When someone close to me is upset or distressed, I take the time to provide emotional support, even if I am busy or distracted.

I can effectively navigate difficult conversations, ensuring that my message is clear while remaining respectful of the other person’s perspective.

When conflicts arise in a group setting, I can help mediate and encourage collaboration to reach a positive outcome.

I am skilled at building rapport with new people and maintaining meaningful connections over time.

I work well in team environments by fostering trust, encouraging open communication, and promoting mutual respect.

How to calculate your result

Step 1: Add up your scores for all 20 questions.
Step 2: Use the ranges below to interpret your results:
- 80–100: Exceptional Emotional Intelligence
- 60–79: Strong Emotional Intelligence with areas for refinement
- 40–59: Moderate Emotional Intelligence; room for development in several areas
- Below 40: Low Emotional Intelligence; consider focusing on building basic EQ skills

Interpretations

80–100: Exceptional Emotional Intelligence

You have a great level of self-awareness, empathy, self-regulation, motivation, and social skills.

What this means:
- You understand your emotions and how they influence your decisions and actions.
- You handle stress effectively, remain calm in challenging situations, and adapt easily to change.
- Your empathy allows you to connect with others deeply, making you a trusted confidant and a strong “team-player”.
- Your motivation comes from within, enabling you to pursue ambitious goals with resilience.
- You are a skilled communicator, conflict resolver, and relationship builder.
What can you do next: Focus on maintaining these strengths and consider mentoring others to help them build their own EQ.

60–79: Strong Emotional Intelligence

Your emotional intelligence is strong, though there may be several things that you could imrove.

What this means:
- You are mostly self-aware, though occassionally your emotions influence your decisions on an unconscious level.
- You manage your emotions well, but you can accidentally lose control in high-pressure situations.
- You empathize with others effectively but may sometimes miss subtle cues or hesitate to address conflicts or misunderstandings.
- You are goal-oriented and motivated but may rely on external validation or struggle with maintaining focus for a long period of time.
- Your social skills are strong, but you might find certain interactions (e.g., conflict resolution) more difficult than others.
What can you do next: Think about where you encounter challenges, and focus on intentionally improving these areas.

40–59: Moderate Emotional Intelligence

You show an average level of emotional intelligence, with clear potential for growth. While you may perform well in some areas, there are likely gaps or inconsistencies that impact your overall effectiveness.

What this means:
- You may struggle to fully understand or articulate your emotions. This leads to occasional difficulties in decision-making or communication.
- In stressful situations, you might react impulsively or let emotions take control before you consciously step back.
- You likely care about others’ feelings, but you may not always pick up on subtle cues or know how to respond effectively to their needs.
- Your motivation might fluctuate based on circumstances. It can be hard to stay focused or resilient during prolonged challenges.
- Social skills such as collaboration, communication, or conflict resolution might require deliberate effort to develop.
What can you do next: Work on adopting self-awareness, practice empathy, and develop strategies for self-regulation. Focus on building relationships.

Below 40: Low Emotional Intelligence

Your results suggest that you need to grow your emotional intelligence. You may find it difficult to recognize and manage emotions in yourself or others, which could impact your personal and professional relationships.

What this means:
- You might struggle to identify your emotions or understand their influence on your behavior. This may cause you to react out of control or inconsistent.
- Managing stress and responding calmly to stressful situations could be difficult, and result in impulsive decisions or conflicts.
- Empathy might not come naturally to you, and you may struggle to understand others’ perspectives or feelings.
- You may rely heavily on external motivation and find it difficult to maintain drive and focus when faced with setbacks.
- Conflict resolution and collaboration, might feel strained or uncomfortable.
What can you do next: Focus on foundational skills such as recognizing and naming your emotions, learning stress management techniques, and actively practicing empathy and communication.

Why is emotional intelligence so important

As I’ve said before, we live in a world full of people.

Being smart or having great skills might help you get by, but intelligence is so much more than that. It’s not just about IQ tests or logic.

There’s analytical intelligence, sure. But there’s also social, creative, and emotional intelligence, and that’s just the start.

If you want a happy, meaningful life, your focus should be on holistic growth. Work on your mind, your body, and your emotions.

This is the only way you can genuinely grow into the best version of yourself.

What’s the benefit of developing your emotional intellience?

Having high emotional intelligence can completely change your life.

First, it can help you understand yourself better.

When you know what you’re feeling and why, you will handle stress easily, you will stay calm, and make better choices.

Your relationships will improve.

You will pick up social cues and react properly to peoples’ moods and actions.

Emotional intelligence will give you a leverage in every situation, because you will be able to predict how somebody will react. Then you could prepare yourself better. This is an invaluable skill in work relationships.

You will become more confident.

When you realize where your emotions come from, you won’t get stuck in negativity. Check the 35 signs you have low self-confidence and how to fix that.

While we’re at it, here are more ways to improve yourself:

Signs you have anger issues and how to fix this

If you have a burnout at work, read this

Why you should’t share your plans with others

How to recognize dishonest people

Why you get easily distracted and how to concentrate

The reason you have anxiety

The love and relationships section

TheThinkAbout is a website based on psychology in practice and experience.

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