At least 50% of people have blocked an ex at some point

Has it happened to you?

Maybe the breakup was heated. Maybe you separated on good terms, even promised to “stay friends.”

But the next morning, reality hit. You noticed you were no longer connected on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat – anywhere. Your messages wouldn’t go through. Calls wouldn’t ring.

You just stood there in disbelief.

You still had so much left unsaid. Maybe you hoped the breakup was temporary, that with some space, your ex might change their mind…

Maybe you thought time apart would help you both grow, and eventually bring you back together.

The truth is, even if the relationship had become unbearable, most people who are still in love, hope.

They imagine reconciliation, some grand reunion, or at the very least a chance to show their ex what they’re missing…

Perhaps you too, were one of those people.
But suddenly your heart sinks in.

They’ve blocked you everywhere.

You can’t call, you can’t text, there’s no way to reach them.

You imagined that, once enough time had passed, they’d eventually reach out and the two of you would work things out.

Or maybe you pictured yourself showing up with a new look, a better lifestyle, and they’d regret ever losing you.

But now it feels like you’re standing in front of a wall, and no matter what you do, you can’t get through.

If you still love your ex, being blocked isn’t just frustrating, it can feel devastating.

Why did your ex block you?

Okay, lets be real.

After a breakup emotions run high. Logic takes the back seat.

That’s why many people hit the block button almost immediately to avoid being reminded of their ex, in any way, shape or form.

They just want to move on as fast as possible.

Blocking is often less about punishing you and more about protecting themselves. Your ex wants to get rid of the horrible emotions associated with the breakup. By cutting off all contact, they’re making sure of two things:

You won’t be able to reach out

and

They won’t be tempted to call or text you in a weak moment

More often than not, an ex who blocks you is hurt and angry.

What does blocking you everywhere mean?

When your ex shuts down every communication channel, they’re sending a clear message: “I don’t want to talk to you or see you.”

And yes, almost always they are thinking: “…ever again!”

Blocking you everywhere essentially means “I don’t want any contact with you anymore”.

Realising you’ve been blocked can send you into panic mode and for anxiously attached people it can even trigger shock.

You may become so stressed over the fact that you can’t reach your ex, you may have a temporary blackout. The thought:

“He/She is NEVER coming back”

might spiral in your head.

That panic can push you into desperate attempts to break through the wall:

• calling multiple times,
• sending messages on every platform,
• writing emails,
• leaving long voice messages,
• showing up at their place,
• asking friends to talk to them, etc.

Such extreme reactions are not uncommon. When you’re in love pain, the limits of what you’re willing to do almost disappear. (By the way, see: How to overcome anxious attachment).

But here’s what you need to keep in mind: people’s emotions change every day and every hour.

This is just the situation in the moment.

Unless you did something truly unforgivable, like cheating or a serious betrayal, there’s a good chance that after days, weeks, or even months, your ex will calm down and start reevaluating the situation from a different angle.

Of course, that doesn’t automatically mean they’ll want to come back.

But they may start feeling bad about their actions and unblock you.

Blocking is a cruel act

Blocking someone out of your life is essentially pretending they don’t exist anymore. It’s one of the harshest things you can do to another person. The message it sends is brutal: “You are dead to me.”

Blocking is mean, cutting, and deeply hurtful.

It also speaks of low emotional intelligence, because the person doing it often doesn’t stop to consider just how devastating it feels for the one being blocked.

The only time blocking is truly justified is when you need to protect yourself from stalking, harassment, or physical and emotional abuse.

In all other cases, blocking should be the last resort to create distance from someone who refuses to respect your boundaries.

Will he/she unblock me?

Honestly? I’d give it a 99% chance.

Why? Because blocking leaves unfinished business.

Exes who block each other carry heavy, unresolved energy into their next relationships.

When you block a person, you don’t delete them from your mind, you just temporary burry the thought of them. Deep down, you both know things weren’t closed off in a proper way.

And unfinised business always comes back. (See how unfinished business can mess with your brain.)

That’s why it’s extremely rare for an ex who blocks you to never again reach out. At some point, they almost always unblock you, even if only to see how you’re doing.

Here is why:

Right after the breakup, your ex sees you in a harsh, negative light.

They’re angry, hurt, or overwhelmed. In that state, it’s almost impossible for them to remember what they ever liked about you!

But time changes things.

The exact timeline depends – some exes soften after a few weeks, others after months, and a few only after years. But life always teaches lessons.

People are wired to strive towards positivity and run away from negativity.

That’s why at some point, as your ex experiences life without you, they slowly shift how they see the past.

But for this to happen, time and external factors have to happen.

Your ex has to experience life without you, meet other people, get hurt, deal with struggles and learn the lessons they have to learn, to see why the relationship didn’t work out.

That’s when they may:

• Grow curious about what you’re doing now;
• Regret how poorly they treated you;
• Start reminiscing about your shared moments;
• Feel nostalgic of the good times;
• And… want to re-establish contact.

So don’t panic. Blocking is usually temporary. More often than not, they will reach out again when the dust has settled.

What to do now that your ex blocked you

If your ex blocked you and you still have feelings for them, don’t freak out.

It is normal to panic once you lose contact.

It will feel like your ex is dead. Without warning, without final words, without saying goodbye. This is a very depressing state to be in.

You may be tempted to let yourself go, lose interest in everything and isolate yourself.

Instead, here’s the first rule: do NOTHING.

Be prepared it will sting.

Think of the pain like a giant wave.

You can’t stop it from coming. What do you do? You dive under it. You endure it.

You come out stronger.

There are only two possible outcomes when an ex blocks you, and both can work for you:

1. Your ex never unblocks you (and you forget that this person ever existed.) As I said, this is not very likely. But if it happens, it’s a blessing in disguise. You get the chance to meet a better love match, without ever be reminded of your ex. And without being held back by someone undeserving of your time and energy. Anybody who would block you out of their life forever, without a word, regrets or second thoughts, is undeserving of you even remembering their name.
2. Your ex regrets it and unblocks you later. By the time that happens, you will have grown emotionally, moved forward, and likely won’t want to go back. So in the end, if someone has regrets, it definitely won’t be you.

So, what should you do immediately after being blocked?

• accept that you are going to spend some time in the dark, (with no perspective that you’ll see the light soon);
• quit smoking (or any other addiction, or unhealthy habbit if you have) – see the most detailed articles how to do it here;
• force yourself to go out and make opportunities to meet new people, even if all you want to do is to stay home;
• get in shape – set a goal to become unrecognisable in 3 months;
• start a new project – a business, a side hustle, a book that you want to write. Just make sure it’s big and meaningful;
• start running or taking long walks – it will make your depression go away;
• eat healthy – good food heals not only your body, but your mind;
• make a life change – take an oath to make your ex blocking you the best thing that happened to you. See the complete guide on How to turn your dreams into a reality.

The circumstances will change

No matter how dark or painful your emotional state feels right now, take encouragement from someone who’s been blocked by what they once thought was “the love of their life.”

The circumstances will change.

And you won’t feel this way forever.

Life isn’t static, energy is always moving, and so will you.

To believe you will be always this depressed is ignorant and foolish. But for now, don’t wait for your ex, don’t try to contact them and persevere.

You will get through this, but only if you make a firm decision:

Never, ever give up

Anyone can collapse and cry: “That’s it, I can’t take it anymore!”

But it takes a really special person to clench their fists and say: “I’m not admitting failure. People who give up on themselves are losers, and that sure as hell isn’t me!”

If someone recently blocked you, don’t waste time dwelling on it. Take control of your healing and growth.

If you are struggling with a bad breakup, check out the How to get over your ex in 30 days ebook.

Share your story in the comments.

See also How to not let a breakup destroy you

The benefits of being single

What to do with my ex wants me back?

How to get a second chance with your ex

TheThinkAbout is a website based on psychology in practice and experience.

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