“Hell is other people”
Jean-Paul Sartre

Why should you learn how to quickly figure out people?

We live in a world full of people.

At work, at school, or in your social circles – you are constantly surrounded by individuals with their own likes, dislikes, goals, and hidden motives. And whether you like it or not, their attitudes and actions can directly influence your life.

Life is a journey, and not everyone you meet along the way will have your best interests at heart.

That’s why, to stay in control and avoid being at the mercy of others, you need to become prepared, adaptable, and develop sharp people-reading skills.

Human behavior is shaped by many things – emotions, environment, past experiences, and personality traits.

Of course, predicting someone’s behavior with complete certainty is impossible.

But if you can uncover their hidden motivations, you’ll gain powerful insight into how they’re likely to behave.

When you know how to read people:

You can prevent them from manipulating you.
You won’t regret sharing sensitive information with the wrong person.
You’ll know when someone’s lying to you.
You’ll adapt your communication style to connect more effectively.
You’ll build connections with the right people who can support your goals.
You’ll unmask hidden intentions and protect yourself from exploitation.
You’ll recognize when someone is being genuine, and when they’re putting on a mask.
You’ll save your energy for people who truly deserve your time.

People Reading Methods

Observe gestures and gesture clustures

If you want to understand and interpret people’s emotions and behaviors, the first step is to sharpen your observational skills. After all, around 90% of communication is non-verbal.

Observe their non-verbal cues, such as:

body language,
facial expressions,
gestures,
tone of voice,
choice of words,
even choice of clothes

All of these can reveal a person’s emotional state and hidden intentions.

You may start learning the basics of body language. Many gestures and movements are involuntary, and these are the ones that reveal the most.

But here’s the key: body language is highly individual.

A gesture that means one thing in a book, might mean something entirely different for the person in front of you. So you need to take some time collecting information about this specific person.

Establish a baseline.

Everyone has little quirks and habits. To read someone accurately, you need to know their “normal” behavior.

Does this person push up their glasses every time they’re annoyed?

Do they cover their mouth when they laugh? (If their teeth are perfectly aligned, you may find out that this isnt’ because they’re shy, but because they once wore braces and developed that habit).

How do they usually walk, sit, or use their hands while talking?

Once you know their baseline, you’ll notice the moments when something feels different.

Look for deviations.

Have you ever felt something was “off” about a person but couldn’t put your finger on it? That’s your subconscious noticing a deviation from their baseline.

A sudden change in gestures, posture, or tone might signal stress, discomfort, or even dishonesty. These deviations are often far more telling than the gestures themselves.

Watch out for micro expressions

Psychologist Paul Ekman developed the Facial Action Coding System (FACS) – a method for analyzing and classifying facial movements, including the tiniest ones: microexpressions.

Microexpressions are extremely brief, involuntary facial expressions that flash across someone’s face in response to emotions they’re trying to hide.

They last only 1/25th to 1/15th of a second, which makes them very hard to catch before the person slips back into a controlled expression.

What makes them so powerful? They are universal. Whether it’s happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust, or surprise, microexpressions are the “emotional leaks” that reveal what someone is really feeling, no matter how hard they try to mask it.

Learn about psychology and human behaviour

To truly understand why people act the way they do, you’ll need at least some knowledge of psychology.

Read books, articles, or take courses on behavioral psychology.

Don’t worry, you don’t have to dive into heavy academics to grasp the basic principles of how the human mind works. Here’s my short list of must-read psychology books to get you started.

Train your pattern recognition

Pattern recognition is your brain’s ability to gather information, compare it to what it already knows, and make predictions. When the brain recognizes a pattern, it can logically infer what that pattern suggests about what will happen next.

You can train your brain to recognize patterns in people’s behavior and how they emotionally react to different triggers. Observe how they respond when they’re happy, sad, excited, scared, or under stress.

What gestures, words, or behaviors do they use?

Identifying these patterns can give you valuable insights into their character and hidden motivations.

How to know you’re good at pattern recognition:

You can distinguish a genuine smile from a fake smile.
You sense when something’s off just from hearing someone’s voice over the phone.
You can tell someone’s not telling the truth by looking at their face.
You can tell when someone likes another person just by their body language.
You know where to find something in the store simply by its layout.
You can predict someone’s next move because you’ve noticed the same gesture or behavior repeated before.

Communicate with people from different backgrounds and cultures

Talk to as many people as possible from different cultural and social backgrounds.

The reason is simple: exposure to diverse perspectives broadens your understanding. By learning about different cultural norms, values, and beliefs, you heighten your sensitivity and problem-solving skills, and you’ll also become better at reading people.

Take external factors into account

Never underestimate external factors when interpreting people’s actions. These can include:

their environment,
their past
and the context in which something was said or done.

Detach from your own biases, because they influence your perception of reality. Aim to view people objectively.

How to reveal parts of a person’s character

Watch their reaction to provocations. Can they keep a calm exterior? Do they get angry?
Listen carefully when they share random stories of their past and try to remember the details. You may later uncover why they acted in a certain way, how an experience shaped them, or why they value what they value.
Put them on some tests. Ask questions you already know the answers to. This can reveal whether they tend to hide the truth.
Give them an opportunity to take advantage of you. See how they handle the temptation.
Check if they can be trusted. The oldest trick in the book: tell different versions of the same story to several people. Pick a spicy story, one that very few would resist sharing. Later, see which version makes its way back to you.
Gain information on their environment to pick up any unconscious motivations. Some motivations may be unconscious or deeply rooted in a person’s psyche, making them difficult to detect or predict. This often requires a deep understanding of their past experiences, thoughts, and feelings, something that may never be fully accessible.

Was this helpful?

See related articles:

How to not reveal what you think

How to tell if someone’s lying to you based on science

Why screen time is ruining your mood

How to fix your lack of focus and concentration

How to stop idolizing other people

Signs you may have anger issues

TheThinkAbout is a website based on psychology in practice and experience.

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