What Does “Being Attractive” Really Mean?

Let’s be honest – being attractive matters.

It skyrockets your self-confidence, opens doors to opportunities others might not get, and gives you an undeniable edge in both personal and professional life.

Attractiveness just makes you much more powerful and successful.

Of course, attractiveness isn’t only about looks.

It’s a mix of appearance, intelligence, and personality traits. In this article, we’ll focus on the physical aspect – and how to approach it the right way.

If you want to do a COMPLETE TRANSFORMATION of your looks, there is a right way and there is a wrong way. The wrong way is going through all kinds of plastic surgeries, getting bigger breasts and lips, hair extensions, botox, fillers, designer clothes or layers of heavy makeup.

Well, truth is, those things don’t make a girl beautiful, but weird and unauthentic.

Nine out of ten guys will tell you, they prefer natural beauty over artificial enhancements. The logic is simple:

“If she can’t accept herself, how can she expect me to?”

“Nothing screams low self-confidence like obsessively going through procedures and plastic surgeries.”

You don’t have to fit in someone’s beauty standard and look like everybody else. You’ll just blend in, and often regret it later. In a couple of years, your face will look like a total mess.

Instead – learn how to make the best out of your looks. If you do, you’ll become a unique, interesting and authentically attractive person.

What Men and Women Actually Find Physically Attractive (According to Tons of Research)

Attractiveness isn’t always about “classical” beauty.

You can make yourself look attractive even if you don’t have model-like features, if you know the actual things men and women truly notice in the opposite sex.

Many people don’t really know how attraction works.

Women assume men only care about big boobs and oversized lips. Men think all women dream of a Ryan Gosling lookalike.

What Men ACTUALLY say they find most attractive (according to research):

• Soft, touchable hair
• Pretty eyes
• Clear, glowing skin
• A beautiful smile
• A cute, feminine voice
• A nice, natural smell
• A toned, healthy-looking body (not too thin, not overweight)
• Women who dress in a feminine, elegant way

What Women ACTUALLY report they find most attractive:

• Muscular forearms (not bodybuilder bulky)
• Hands – every detail of them
• A neatly trimmed beard
• Soft hair they can run their fingers through
• Defined shoulder muscles
• Visible abs
• A warm, genuine smile
• Good sense of style
• Cleanliness and a sexy, subtle perfume
• A deep, “purring” tone of voice

Did you notice something on these lists that can’t be improved with some effort? Exactly. Almost everything is within your control.

What’s your excuse for not doing it?

The Ultimate Checklist on How to Become Unrecognisably Attractive (Top to Bottom)

(what to do and what definitely NOT to do)

Okay, what’s the first mistake many people make when trying to look attractive? They obsess over one feature while neglecting the rest.

Here’s a very important thing that many people disregard: being physically attractive is about overall appearance.

You’ll see women with flawless nails but greasy hair… or men with a sharp haircut but terrible hygiene.

If you want to really be an attractive person, you must keep everything in check. Let’s go step by step.

Hair

Hair is one of the biggest turn-ons for both men and women, so your hair should always look clean, soft and well-kept. Don’t follow trends – just make sure you get a haircut that actually suits your face.

Women – Most men prefer longer hair – straight, wavy, or curly, it doesn’t matter, as long as it looks healthy. Subconsciously, men associate healthy hair with fertility.

Don’t ruin your hair with aggressive dyes or excessive straightening. Dry, split ends are unattractive. Skip hair extensions. You will – a) ruin your natural hair and b) men find everything fake unappealing. This is also the reason most men prefer natural hair colours over red, blue, orange, green, purple etc.

Well…with one exception.

Grey hair trend? Sorry, it rarely looks good. Some women even start dying their hair grey. It’s neighter hot, nor sexy. It makes you look older and unkempt. Men might say they like “natural,” but they don’t want to date their grandma.

If you have grey hair and want to stay youthful, pick a nice natural shade and a get a good cut.

Just an example – Jennifer Aniston is 54. One of the first things people notice about her is her gorgeous blond hair. But Jennifer’s natural hair is not straight, it’s wavy. If she let it go grey and wild, would she still radiate that same sexy aura? Probably not.

Men – Women love running their fingers through soft, well-kept hair.

Make sure you get regular cuts and never let your hair look greasy or have dandruff. On the list of potential turn-offs, many women include “weird haircut.” Haircare only takes a few minutes each day, but it makes a huge difference.

Losing hair? Don’t panic. Hair-regrowth treatments are common and can be a confidence booster, but it’s optional. What matters most is how you carry yourself.

Skin

Good skin is a major aphrodisiac for both men and women – it signals health and vitality.

And many people express their love by touch so having smooth, clear skin naturally draws others in.

Bad facial skin can drag down your overall look, so don’t cut corners. See a dermatologist, use quality skincare products, stay hydrated, get enough sleep, and follow a consistent skincare routine.

Eyebrows

Eyebrows are one of the most important features of your face because they frame it and define your expression.

Women: Always keep your eyebrows shaped as naturally as possible.

AVOID making your brows huge, darker or overly thicker than they should be. Men find this absolutely disgusting. If your brows are too thin or their shape looks unnatural, consider microblading. This can help restore a natural look and encourage regrowth without looking fake.

Eyes (and Makeup)

Women: Almost any man on Earth will tell you he prefers a woman ”without makeup.”

It might not make sense to women but men just don’t like too much makeup. It just looks fake – like you’re heading to a disco instead of going about your day.

And don’t put false eyelashes. They don’t just look unnatural, they can weaken your own lashes and make them fall out over time.

The thing is – when men say they prefer a woman without makeup, what they usually mean is that they prefer not to notice whether she’s wearing it or not. If you’re “blessed” with an uneven tan or dark circles, a bit of minimal makeup is fine – to freshen your face and add a touch of color.

Your eyes are the most important part of your face.

Just a touch of discreet eyeliner and mascara is enough to make them sparkle.

Smile

You can COMPLETELY transform the look of your face with a beautiful smile.

A healthy, attractive smile is one of the biggest factors in physical attraction. Our teeth play a huge role in how others perceive us.

Straight, white, well-maintained teeth make people see you as more attractive than someone with the opposite qualities.

Studies even show that people with “perfect teeth” are perceived as more successful, more intelligent, and go on more dates.

If you have crooked teeth, don’t hesitate to get braces – people do it at any age nowadays. It’s not just about aesthetics; it’s also about your dental health.

Yellow teeth hint of poor hygiene. Keep them clean and white.

Trust me, a great smile can completely transform how people perceive you.

Facial hair

Women: You read that right. Never, ever leave facial hair.

I know a few women who skip removing upper lip hair, thinking it’s not noticeable. Whether it’s shaving, waxing, or laser treatment – don’t leave it. Men might not notice every detail, but this is often the FIRST thing they see.

The exact same thing applies to visible nose hair.

I’ve been shocked by how often men complain about it.

Men: Growing a beard can be extremely sexy to women. It’s manly, hot, and has a primal appeal.

However, don’t overdo it or keep your beard too messy – otherwise, it can give the impression that you don’t take care of your hygiene.

Body

Getting your body into good shape can completely transform your appearance.

Make it a habit to work out 3–5 times per week.

Maintaining a healthy weight and a toned, well-shaped body not only makes you look attractive but also improves your health, boosts energy, and skyrockets your confidence.

If you want a total physical transformation, there’s no excuse to let yourself go – stop gaining unnecessary weight, avoid junk food, and ditch the couch potato lifestyle.

Don’t aim to look like a bodybuilder or obsess over every meal. Focus on being in your best shape and make a habit of choosing quality food consistently.

Both men and women naturally admire a well-kept, healthy body, even if other aspects of appearance are less remarkable.

Manicure

This applies to both men and women.

Men: Keep your nails short and clean. It’s easy to neglect, but women notice poorly maintained nails.

Women: Men don’t care about your “manicure” per se – they notice the overall appearance of your hands.

Keep your skin soft and nails well-shaped, preferably short. If you wear nail polish, choose subtle, natural-looking colors. Don’t go for anything super crazy.

Most men will tell you that they HATE long, witchy nails overly decorated with glitter, stickers, flowers, gems, etc. The more natural, the better. Otherwise it screams “fake”, “cheap”, and also hints of poor hygiene.

Perfume

Good hygiene is one of the biggest factors in attraction.

And a pleasant scent can enhance it even further.

Scent is closely linked to memory and emotion. A pleasant scent can evoke feelings of relaxation, happiness or sensuality – and make people remember you.

Scent is so powerful, it can make someone perceive you as attractive, even if you lack the looks!

Wearing perfume signals that you care about your appearance and take the time to present yourself well.

Be careful, use a delicate amount. Many people are highly sensitive to strong scents. Overdoing it can be off-putting and create repulsion instead of attraction.

Clothes

The way someone dresses says a lot about them.

Having a good sense of style means combining clothes in ways that look pleasant, unique, and attractive on you. And it shows that you’re aware of your body shape.

People with a good sense of style are often perceived as smarter, more powerful, sophisticated, and influential.

You don’t need to spend a fortune on clothes or buy twenty pairs of shoes. Just learn the basics of combining outfits, build a smart wardrobe, and you WILL look unrecognisable.

Accessories

Accessories have been used since ancient times to elevate appearance.

It’s the little details that make a woman look perfect – tiny earrings, a pendant or a subtle bracelet can draw attention to your ears, hands, or neck.

For men, quality watches or rings can make them appear more powerful and attractive.

The golden rule is : Pick accessories that compliment your look rather than draw attention to themselves.

The “halo” effect

Research shows a strong connection between physical attractiveness and perceived power.

It is known as the “halo effect”.

A cognitive bias where people tend to attribute qualities like intelligence, competence or leadership skills to those they find physically attractive.

As a result, attractive individuals are often seen as more powerful or influential.

When someone feels attractive, they exude greater self-assurance, assertiveness, and presence, which can positively impact their ability to influence others and achieve positions of power.

Attractive people tend to have more social opportunities. And this boost in social capital can lead to career advancements or access to influential circles.

What do you think about attractiveness?

See also:

How to have a cold personality

The reason you may always be dissatisfied

How to be a powerful person

How to build your confidence

TheThinkAbout is a website based on psychology in practice and experience.

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