Does attractiveness matter?

I’ve known a woman named Patty since high school.

She’s 34 and has been single for over five years.

Being single is perfectly fine, of course, but Patty is obsessively focused on finding a partner. She’s constantly on dating apps, all the while criticizing men.

Recently, she even started a YouTube channel about dating struggles. She rants endlessly about how difficult dating is today, what men want, what women want, and how impossible it is to meet halfway.

Patty is smart, educated, has a good job, her own social circle, and even owns her place. But the men she likes rarely pay her any attention. Do you know why? You probably guessed it : because she is unattractive.

She neglects her hygiene, is often sweaty, and shows little interest in makeup, a flattering haircut, or dressing in a feminine way. Once, she was even turned away from a restaurant at a birthday party because she ignored the dress code.

If you mention these things to her, she stubbornly says: “Those things are shallow. Men should like me for my wit and personality. If someone likes me, they have to accept me as I am!”

Yet, mysteriously, Patty always falls for the most attractive men.

The tall, fit, tanned, stylish ones.

When those men ignore her and chase more attractive women, she complains that “people don’t have any values nowadays.”

Over time, this resentment builds, making it even harder for her to find a partner. The truth is, Patty is smart, funny, and can hold a great conversation.

She wouldn’t have a dating problem if only she admitted the importance of being an attractive person.

Why is being attractive important?

Looks matter, especially to guys.

Be honest: would you rather be flattered by someone unattractive showing interest in you or by an attractive person, even if you had no prior interest in them?

Physical appearance is often the first thing that draws someone to you.

Some people underestimate the importance of good looks and call striving for beauty “shallow.” I call it a holistic approach to becoming the best version of yourself.

Many people pour all their energy into excelling at work, reading a lot, or getting a quality education, but completely neglect their appearance.

They assume anyone who cares about their looks must be superficial, dumb, or boring. Some even start neglecting their hygiene, gaining weight, or dressing poorly. Basically they let themselves go.

On the other extreme, some obsess over their looks, spending hours at the gym, buying expensive clothes and cosmetics, or undergoing countless beauty procedures, yet neglect to nourish their minds.

Everything taken to extremes can backfire.

Before we go any further, let’s get clear on what being attractive REALLY means.

Physical attractiveness isn’t about having big breasts, pumped lips, perfect facial symmetry, a tiny waist, blue eyes, or blonde hair.

It’s about making the best of your natural appearance.

Being attractive is one of the five key components of personal power. It opens doors, creates opportunities, and gives you influence.

If you want someone to do something for you, they first need to want to do it, and people are far more willing to respond positively to someone they find appealing.

When people like you, they will want to do things for you.

Why should you strive to become the most attractive version of yourself

Look, if your goal is to be powerful and successful, you need to become your best self in every area of life – and that includes your appearance.

A common misconception is that attractiveness is purely genetic, and that some people are simply “born unlucky.”

REMEMBER THIS: There are no ugly people, only lazy people.

Neglecting to put in the effort to look your best subconsciously programs your brain that you don’t respect yourself enough.

Even if you tell yourself you’re fine with being “you,” whether you struggle with weight, crooked teeth, or other imperfections, on a subconscious level, each comment or criticism about your appearance stings. Taking control of your appearance protects you from vulnerability and criticism.

To avoid such vulnerability and to boost your self-confidence, it’s essential to put your best effort into improving your appearance.

Some benefits of being attractive

• Influence over people: Psychology shows that people perceived as attractive are often assumed to possess other qualities like intelligence, competence, and social skills. This “halo effect” opens doors to more social interactions, popularity, and favorable treatment.
• High confidence and Self-esteem: People who feel attractive tend to have higher self-confidence. This positive self-perception improves overall well-being and mental health.
• Increased romantic attraction: Good looks are the first thing that makes someone notice you. For many people physical appearance as a key factor for selecting potential partners. Being perceived as attractive can significantly increase your chances of attracting romantic interest.
• Professional Opportunities: Research shows that being attractive can impact employment opportunities, job promotions, and earning potential. Attractive people are more likely to be hired, earn higher salaries, and have better networking opportunities.

Many people assume that after entering a relationship, getting married, having kids, or passing 30, they can completely neglect their appearance. This is false. Attractiveness doesn’t have to fade with age. You can look stunning at 50, 60, or beyond if you know how to take care of yourself.

I have a female colleague who is 82.

She’s the most attractive woman I’ve seen at her age.

You’d never guess she’s over 60.

A former ballerina, she has perfect posture, flexibility, and grace. Her face is radiant, her makeup flawless, her perfume magical, and her sense of style outshines many younger women. She does yoga, travels, and even got a new boyfriend last month.

Every time she enters a room, heads turn in awe: “Damn! How is it even possible to look and live like this at this age?”

I hope you’re convinced now how powerful good looks can be.

That’s why I’ve prepared The complete guide on how to become a super attractive person, packed with detailed tips, practical advice, and examples.

Read more:

Five books that will change your perspective on power and control

The plan that will help you achieve all of your dreams

How to be emotionally independant while in a relationship

What’s your view on attractiveness?

TheThinkAbout is a website based on psychology in practice and experience.

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