“Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac”
– Henry Kissinger
Let me tell you a story
My friend Sue used to work as a journalist. After a massive burnout, she quit and started working for her father’s construction company.
Her dad, a total workaholic, expects her to be available 24/7 – no questions asked. Sue’s constantly frustrated.
“If only I could find another decent job,” she said, “I’d finally make him stop bullying me. But right now, I feel completely powerless.”
And that’s exactly what powerlessness feels like – being trapped in a situation you desperately want to change but can’t… yet.
Why Humans Crave Power
The need for power is primal, wired deep into our survival instincts.
When we feel threatened, we crave control.
When we feel powerless, we crave safety.
Power isn’t just about domination – it’s about security. It’s knowing you have the ability to influence events, people, and circumstances in your favor.
A lack of power triggers the same deep discomfort as hunger, thirst, or loneliness.
Stay powerless for too long, and it can morph into hopelessness, or even depression.
Here’s the good news:
Once you start regaining your power, those feelings of helplessness naturally fade. Because power and confidence feed off each other.
How to Reclaim Your Power
Power isn’t something you’re born with (though some people get a head start). It’s something you earn, learn, and project.
Real power means being able to shape the behavior, opinions, or decisions of others, through something you possess that they want or need.
Influence can come from many sources:
- expertise – being the go-to person in your field
- authority – holding a position or reputation that commands respect
- charisma – making people want to listen and follow
- or social connections – having access others don’t
There are ways anybody can become a powerful person.
Back to Sue
In Sue’s case, she carries major responsibility in her father’s company, yet he takes her for granted.
If she developed new skills and built a career alternative, she’d instantly shift the power dynamic.
Because when you have options, you stop being powerless.
If Sue knew she could walk out tomorrow and get a better job, she wouldn’t feel trapped – and her father would treat her with more respect.
Power doesn’t come from control over others.
It comes from control over your own options.
Have you ever felt powerless like this?
Yes, tell me how to be a powerful person!
See how to never give up when things get hard
How to become more powerful by not idealizing people
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